The human head is bigger than the globe. It conceives itself as containing more. It can think and rethink itself and ourselves from any desired point outside the gravitational pull of the earth. It starts by writing one thing and later reads itself as something else. The human head is monstrous.”
-Gunter Grass
So this is an email I received on match. *Sigh……shakes head*
What the hell does it mean? I thought he was saying that I have a big head, which I didn’t find very complimentary. But I wasn’t sure, so I consulted a couple of my friends (because of course I like to run the weird ones by them). First I talked to a friend of mine that heretofor will be referred to as “ManWhore”. I chat with ManWhore on a daily basis, so I forwarded him the email and told him that I was afraid this guy was saying I have a big head. He said, “I think he is saying you have big boobs and he wants to put his head there.” Hmm, ok. There’s a thought, although not a very probable one, since this guy doesn’t know how big my breasts are. But I guess we know where ManWhore’s head is.
Still not sure, I consulted another friend that I talk to an a daily basis, who shall be referred to as Jaded Lawyer Girl (“Jaded”). Jaded told me she is pretty sure he is a serial killer who collects heads. (Side note – seriously, Jaded, lay off the true crime novels)
So there you go. Funny little thing, this perception business, isn’t it? So obviously I have no idea why he put that quote in his email, or why, for the love of all things holy, he thought it would entice me to write back to him. Perhaps it is a very lovely quote about the brain power of man or some such nonsense. Unfortunately (fortunately?), I am not that deep. Nor do I aspire to be. Maybe I need to rethink what I said in my profile, because I’m starting to wonder what it was that inspired the majority of responses I’ve gotten.
Guys, there is a pretty wide gap between not trying enough and trying too hard. On the one hand, if you just wink at me or send me a pre-packaged ice-breaker, I’m probably not going to respond, unless your profile is fantastic (and if you can’t be original enough to send an actual email, it probably isn’t). On the other hand, keep it simple. I don’t need fancy quotes or pick-up lines. And don’t over-shoot. Avoid words like stunning, gorgeous, beautiful – it’s too much and feels disingenuine. Do NOT call me sweetie, honey, or baby – I don’t know you from a hole in the wall. Just let me know you think I’m cute and you liked my profile for whatever reason. Maybe tell me a little something about yourself. That’s all.
But really, maybe I do need new pictures that make my head look smaller…..
mygalfriday78 Said:
on April 26, 2007 at 1:29 am
Seriously, I think he was just trying to come across as smart. But what a weird quote. What’d his picture look like? (Okay, that just makes me sound shallow…but looks matter…it’s almost as important as the profile.)
Was there anything else in the email? Or was it just the weird quote?
jem1896 Said:
on April 26, 2007 at 6:21 pm
His picture was average. And of course looks matter. Looks matter to everyone, regardless of their level of attractiveness. Human nature is what it is.
There were other parts to the email, but it was all very strange. He said a bunch of weird things, and that he didn’t know how to inspire me to respond. He said he had a dancing monkey, but he was on strike right now. “Damn monkey union.”
So, yeah, the whole thing was weird.
I’m starting to think I might be weird.