Beautiful Mess

So last night B told me that his Mom is coming to his work Christmas party (she worked there until she retired early this year).  Yikes!  I’ve never met any of his family.  I’m not even sure his family knows of my existence.  He has never made any comments to indicate that they know about me.  Unlike my parents and sister, who keep wanting to know why they haven’t met him (hello, GEOGRAPHY), and have spread the good word among the entire extended family (J has a boyfriend!  J has a boyfriend!).  Anyway, so I will meet his mother next weekend at the party.  In a crowd.  With a bunch of people around, all staring and watching to see how it goes.  Self-involved much?  Ok, perhaps they won’t all be paying attention, but still.  So I need a cute and festive outfit.  But not slutty.

 Anyway, so it turns out that B won’t be able to come to my mom’s with me after all (not that I had asked).  He has tickets to a football game on the 23rd, which is right in the middle of my visit.  So my mom (and sister and step-dad) will have to keep waiting out the old meet-and-greet.  Which is fine.  One meet the parents evening in a month is quite enough for me.

My family (specifically my mom) thinks that this relationship I have with B is weird.  Why haven’t we met him?  Why haven’t you met his parents.  So I move at the speed of glaciers when it comes to this stuff.  Is that so wrong?  Back off!  Maybe it is weird, I don’t know.  But also I don’t care. 

My boss has been planning a month-long vacation over the holidays.  I have been looking forward to his vacation for months.  Dreaming about this one glorious month when he’ll be gone, and I can go about my work unfettered by his constant buzzing me in my office, asking for this or that.  Ahhhhhhhh.  I can feel the tension leaving my shoulder just thinking about it.

But wait.  Yesterday he told me that he might not go on vacation after all.  I almost had a panic attack, all the while trying to remain outwardly calm, casually asking why not, and suggesting that he will be lonely if he is all alone for the holidays while his family is on vacation.  He is still up in the air.  I’m sure he’ll end up going.  At least that is what I tell myself in my darkest moments. 

I need to get going on my holiday decorating.  I haven’t even gotten my tree out yet.  I’m behind.  Although, the truth is that I always go all out decorating my apartment, and then virtually NO ONE sees it but me.  How pathetic is that?  But I’m so much less lonely this year than the last several years, so I don’t feel as bad about it.   

So I still have no idea what to get B for Christmas.  But I think I know one of the things (the only thing?) he is getting me:  a bluetooth.  Yes, that’s right ladies.  I can hear you all sighing in envy, wondering how you too can bag such a romantic guy.  But if that is what he gets me, I’ll open it up and act like it is the most beautiful bluetooth I’ve ever seen (much better than, say, diamond earrings), and in my head I will tell myself that he cares about me so much that he loses sleep worrying about me driving and talking on the phone at the same time.  Maybe I should do a preemptive strike and buy one for myself before Christmas.  No, that’s kind of mean.  He did ask me what I wanted and I didn’t give him any ideas, so it is not his fault.  I know how hard it is to buy gifts. 

Anyway, I think that is enough randomness for today.