Two posts in one day. This is a personal record for me.
So in addition to the very very lovely crocs that B bought me for Christmas (oh, and Jess, I saw you making fun of my crocs on Kara’s comments – come on now, don’t hate just because I have beautiful shoes 
), he also gave me some panties from Victoria’s Secret. And alas, I have figured out what Victoria’s Secret actually is – she caters only to very small girls. A club to which I very regrettably do not belong.
And, so, while it makes me a little nauseous to tell you, dear internets, my panty size, I will do so for the sake of this story. B asked me a while back for my sizes (which I reluctantly told him), my underwear size being one of them. I told him a size large/7. Yes, I know, this is not a small butt. Yes, a large butt with an inexplicably flat shape. The best of both worlds, no? But anyway, it is what it is.
So, what I’ve learned is this: a large/7 granny-panty that one buys at, say, Kohl’s, is not the same size as a cute little (but thankfully not thong) panty that one buys at VS. I cannot imagine B holding up one of those little panties at VS and possibly thinking it might fit my butt. However, bless his heart, he went ahead (probably for the sake of our relationship) and bought the L/7 panties.
So I brought them home and thought I would just go exchange them for an XL and he would never know. Wrong. Vickie’s doesn’t carry an XL in this particular line. Bitches!! And yes, I could probably just exchange them for some other panties at VS that would work, but I wanted to get the same exact ones so that he wouldn’t notice, and I wouldn’t have to explain to him how I had to go back and exchange them for some panties that came in EXTRA LARGE. And so it is that I am stuck with the L. Most of them will be ok, although half of my ass will probably be hanging out. It is really only one pair that would just be completely ridiculous, so I’ll avoid those.
Being a woman is fun, no? Oh, and Victoria, I’ll let you in on a secret……some of us ladies are a little more…um…shapely than others. And while you, me, and perhaps most of the free world would rather not see me in a skimpy pair of sexy panties, my boyfriend does. Big girls need panties too. Help a sister out.
