Archive for July, 2008

This, that and the other

{ July 29, 2008 @ 3:13 am } · { travel, worries }
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So I really don’t have much to write about tonight, but I’m trying anyway. 

I’m trying to get stuff together for the trip up north.  This is a high-maintenance trip!  Normally when I go on vacay I just have to worry about what I’m going to wear and toiletries.  Which, believe me, the way I pack is plenty. 

But for this trip we need food, drinks, towels, all manner of dishware (disposable, of course), hand and dish soap, lawn chairs, on and on and on.  I started making a pile in the corner of my living room of stuff I’m taking.  So far it is pretty little because I’m not trying that hard yet.

Any good insect repellent ideas, folks?  I really really hate bug spray.  I don’t like the way it smells or feels on my skin.  But also I don’t like mosquito bites (or west nile disease for that matter), so I’ve got to come up with something. 

And bears?  Whaddya think – run or play dead?  I’m not a fast runner by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m also not a good actress, so I’m sort of weighing my options right now.    Just want to be ready.   

Is it just me, or did summer nights used to be warm and balmy?  The summer nights this year have been cool.  I don’t like that.  But it will be nice in the northwoods considering the no air conditioning issue.  

Kara – I appreciate the optimism, but I’m not sure “romantic” is really the word.  And yes, I will take plenty of pictures of the “resort” and anything else you all might find interesting and I’ll do a post when I get back.

The Great Outdoors

{ July 25, 2008 @ 4:58 am } · { relationships, travel }
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So a couple of months ago B asked me to go on vacation with him the first week of August.  Who doesn’t love vacation, right?

Well, this is not exactly the vacation of my dreams for a number of reasons.  But I should start of by saying that this is B’s family vacation.  The SAME EXACT vacation his family has been taking for 25 years.  Um, yeah.  Folks?  There are a lot of places to see, it might be time to expand your horizons.  Anyway, they like it I guess.   B’s brother and his family don’t go anymore because the kids are too busy, so this year it will just be me, B, and his folks.  For an entire week.  In Wisconsin. 

Yeah.

Now, if any of you are from WI, or like to visit WI or whatever, I don’t mean to be offensive.  It’s just that camping is not my cup of tea.  I know there are beautiful places in WI – Lake Geneva, Door County, etc.  We will not be going to those places.  No.  We will be, near as I can tell, in the middle of nowhere.  And it is just that it is not exactly the type of vacation that I typically like (read:  tropical). 

At first I tried to be polite about it to B – pretending that I thought it sounded fun.  So I would casually ask, “so, what do you do when you go up there?”   And he would tell me that he would fish and golf.  Hmmm.  Then I’d say, “well, what am I going to be doing up there?”  And the only answer he has ever given me is “relax”. 

Listen, I can relax.  I have absolutely no problem laying around.  I do it in my house ALL the time.  I don’t mind doing it on vacation either.  It’s just that I’m normally doing it on the beach, the beautiful ocean in front of me, sipping boat drinks.  This is not going to be like that. 

As the trip gets closer, I’ve gotten more aggressive with my questioning (/whining).  I’ve been trying to find activities that we can do to fill the time?  Is there white-water rafting?  No.  Do you guys have a boat?  No.  Um, is there shopping?  No.  Uh, is there any festivals around?  No. 

But never fear, dear readers.  Since I was whining, B called his mom and asked what she and his aunt (who goes there with them) would be doing during the week.  Turns out they will be going to several craft fairs during the week, and guess what?!  I am invited to go with!  So that’s what I get for my bitching.  Note to self:  next time just shut up and take some books to read.

I keep saying, I’m sorry babe, but I’m not a camper.  And he gets annoyed with me and keeps telling me, “It is not camping, [J],” in his best crabby voice.  And I know that it’s not – we’ll have a cabin at the “resort” with electricity and running water.  But no air conditioning.  And it is all wildernessy.  I don’t hunt, I don’t fish.

He says, oh, you can fish.  Why don’t you want to fish?  Well, there’s a couple of reasons.  I don’t like to touch fish, I don’t like to eat fish, I don’t like to smell fish, I don’t like to clean fish, I don’ t like to touch worms, I don’t like to touch minnows, I don’t like to touch any other kind of bait, I don’t like to throw fish back in the water with hook holes in their mouths, I don’t like to sit still and quiet for hours on end hoping for a bite. 

Yeah, so I don’t like to fish.

So I’m not exactly looking forward to this trip like I normally would a vacation.  And our cabin?  Is right by Ma and Pa’s.  With the windows open.  So yeah, evening extracurriculars will probably be kept to a minimum. 

Also?  I don’t think I have any appropriate clothing.  I’m pretty sure the first day I walk out in heels the others are going to be all “why did you bring this broad up here?”

All of that being said, I’m actually (finally) starting to look forward to it.  For one, I won’t have to hear my boss’s voice for an entire week.  Ahhhhhhh.  Secondly, of course I’m happy to spend some real time with B.  He and I have such a good time together and there is never nearly enough of it, so that’s great.  And there is a possibility that I’m picturing this place all wrong, right?  Maybe there is more to do than I think.  I’m hoping so.  But I went to Borders tonight and stocked up on some reading material just the same. 

Oh, the things we do for love.

For Nine

{ July 19, 2008 @ 12:37 am } · { bikini line }
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Now, don’t be turned off just because they are pink.  These are perfect for those little nooks and crannies that have given you trouble in the past.  They are very tiny, but they will work as long as you haven’t gone too long between shaves.  And you will not cut your junk with them (unless your technique is way way off).   

Give it a go.  You can find them at Walgreens.  And good luck explaining if your lady finds them in your bathroom.   :)

I’m bringing sexy back…

{ July 17, 2008 @ 1:42 am } · { clothing, is it just me?, neuroses, random thoughts, sex, size }
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When was the first time you felt sexy?  That you had an awareness of your body?

As I was driving home from work today, I saw a group of kids, they were walking, so I’m assuming they were younger than 16.  Anyway, one of them was wearing a form-fitting shirt and seemed very self-possessed, and I suddenly flashed back to the first time I had such an awareness of my body. 

It was when I was 15.  Now, prior to that time I was not completely innocent.  I had made out with boys, had been probably to about 2nd base.  Well, rather, I had allowed a boy to get to my second base, I had never actually touched a boy.  Mostly because it had never even occurred to me. 

Its not that I hadn’t thought about my looks, because of course I had.  I worried about my hair and my clothes and the little bit of makeup that I knew how to put on.  I knew the boys thought I was cute.  But I had not conceived that I could possibly be sexy. 

Anyway, so my best friend came over and brought some clothes with her.  We were going to the County Fair, and of course, one must look good to do so.  I’m kind of embarrassed at the thought of it now, but it was the place to be back then.  So I had these brand new shorts that were hip huggers and I thought they were just soooo cool.  I put on one of my friend’s tops and looked in the mirror.  Oh my gosh, I thought, this is tight!  It wasn’t really tight, but much more form-fitted than the t-shirts (this was before the time when t-shirts came with a fitted female cut) I normally wore.  I asked my friend, “are you sure I should wear this?  Do I look fat?  Is my stomach hanging out?”  We decided that it was fine, and away we went. 

So we went to the fair and met up with a couple of boys that we use to hang out with.  One of them really noticed me and told me I looked really good in the outfit.  He wanted to get together with me after that, but I said no thanks, he had never liked me before, so really all he liked was me in my best friend’s clothes. 

But it gave me a sense of empowerment that I hadn’t had previously and was my first taste of feeling sexy.  It is a feeling that I never fully relaxed into, and it is a way that I never really feel anymore.   Sometimes I wish I still had that feeling.  And sometimes I wish I never had that awareness of my body, because it can lead to too much worrying about it, placing to much emphasis on it.  What if my arms are too flabby, or my boobs too big, my legs too short? 

Anyway.

Cause I love the way you call me baby….

{ July 15, 2008 @ 9:40 pm } · { These people are killing me, random thoughts }
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Except you, lunch waiter dude. 

No.  No I don’t love the way you called me “baby”.

Home again

{ July 14, 2008 @ 3:29 am } · { aging, dating, friends, goals, life, relationships, weekend }
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Well, this weekend I left my car woes behind and took a trip home.  My girlfriends and I continued our 30th Birthday tour with my friend Tara’s birthday.  Tara is easily one of the best people I know.  Such a sweetheart and she would do anything for anyone.  I just love her.

Anyway, Tara’s big day was this weekend, so one of my other friends hosted a party at her house.  B was able to come with me, which was great (and also necessary since I was not going to be driving too far on my donut spare tire).  I like for him to come home with me, so he can get to know my friends better and because I think it is the best way for him to really know me in a way that I don’t think is fully accomplished otherwise.  Of course I try to be completely myself all of the time around B and his friends, but of course I don’t relate to his friends in the same way I relate to my own.  I just have so much fun with them, and I know B can see that.  And I think he really enjoys himself too.  My girlfriends like to ask inappropriate questions, and I enjoy watching B squirm and try to answer their questions. 

Last night one of my friends asked him where was the most unusual place that he’s ever had sex, and he just made up some silly answer.  He didn’t really have an answer.  He and I really need to work on that, because I don’t have a good answer for that question either.  I think we need to be more adventurous. 

One of my friends had a baby about a month ago.  I hadn’t met her yet, so I was excited when they came to the party for a little while with the baby.  When she was born she was only 4 pounds, and she is now up to 9 pounds, but she was still so so tiny.  And sweet.  I just loved her.  So I held her for quite some time.  B came inside after a while (he was outside with the boys while us girls were inside oohing and aahing over the baby) and said he some of them came outside to make a point of telling him I held the baby and I was doing a good job (although there is nothing too tricky about it).  Apparently that was big news.  You know how women are, “Oooh, J’s holding the baby!  I think she’s ready to have kids.”  Funny.  But whoa!!  No, definitely not ready yet.  I love babies (and children) and definitely feel the clock ticking and that little twinge when I see babies, but situationally, I’m not in the right place.  I try to picture me and my little baby living in my tiny one bedroom apartment, and me with no maternity insurance and no paid maternity leave.  Yeah, I’m pretty sure it isn’t the right time.

Anyway, a couple of you have expressed interest in a topic I discussed a while ago – how B and I had briefly talked about living together.  Nothing really new has developed in that area.  The problem is that right now we live and work pretty far apart, and I’m not anxious to add a long long commute onto my day.  So we won’t really explore the moving in together thing until one or both of us has a new job.  But its not like I’m actively hitting the job trail.  I need a new job and I do a lot of looking around for a new job, but that is about as far as it goes.  I’m somewhat intimidated by the whole job search/interview process, so that holds me back.  But I think a new job is definitely something that needs to happen within the next year, so I’m going to have to be more proactive about it.  And B wants a new job too, so at some point I think it will all come together, but it isn’t happening right now.  So we don’t really talk about it all that much because of the other changes that need to happen first. 

Oh, why do the weekends go so fast??  There’s just never enough time.  It’s Monday morning again tomorrow, and I’m just dreading it.

Just waiting for number three…..

{ July 12, 2008 @ 1:43 am } · { Uncategorized }
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Here’s what I did last night:

And here’s what I did this morning:

Yeah.  That’s all I have to say about that.

Monday already

{ July 7, 2008 @ 4:44 pm } · { baseball, food, life, weekend }
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I’ve been a little absent from here lately.  I’ve just been bored with myself, you know?  Nothing really to write about. 

Thank you to those of you who were looking for me!  One of my fears when I was a totally single girl was that something would happen to me and nobody would be able to figure it out, or at least not for a long while.  I’ve seen true crime shows where somebody’s mother or friend says, “it just isn’t like her not to call me 5 times a day, so I knew right away that something was wrong.”  That would not be me.  It IS like me not to call.

Anyway.

Had a nice long weekend.  But kind of boring, actually.  Seemed like everyone was out of town or had other plans, so B and I didn’t have much to do.  We did manage to make it to a cookout that one of B’s friends threw.  Here was my contribution:

My famous fruit pizza.  Yummy.  B’s friends told him to bring chips and dip, but I’m not the kind of girl who feels good showing up at a party with anything store-bought, let alone chips and dip (although don’t get me wrong, I am certainly not above eating chips and dip). 

We also managed to make it to some fireworks.  Sorry I don’t have a picture of that.  Despite the fact that my camera has a special setting just for fireworks, the pictures didn’t come out at all.  That was a disappointment, but no doubt it was operator error and not a problem with the camera.  Because a photographer?  I am not.

Then on Sunday we went to a Sox game.  Yay!  It was a good time.  Unfortunately, although the Sox score about 90% of their runs from home runs, neither of the Sox games I’ve been to this year have had any home runs.  So that was disappointing, but at least they won.  We had great seats, right behind home plate:

Ozzie (the coach) was checking me out:

Unfortunately, Crede was not:

Hello, Mr. Thome (walking sadly back to the plate after he just got screwed out of a hit because of stupid fan interference (dumbasses):

 That’s all I’ve got.   So it was a laid back weekend, but I’m ALWAYS ready for some extra time off work, so I’m definitely not complaining. 

Next up I’m going to tell you all about my upcoming vacation.  You guys are going to be jealous, for sure.  It’s a vacation I’ve always dreamed about.  (I know it can be hard to convey in writing, but trust me, there is a heavy dose of sarcasm here).