Beautiful Mess

I’m just now realizing that being in a relationship means that I have to compromise, which essentially just boils down to this little fact:  I don’t always get what I want.

I never said I wasn’t selfish, folks. 

The current compromise is Christmas.  This will be nothing new to those of you who have been in adult relationships before.  Christmas is a tricky time….how to fit everybody in?  A common problem, but one I’ve never had to concern myself with before.  And actually it isn’t really going to be a problem, things actually worked out easier this year than they normally do.  I don’t have to travel, which is pretty much uprecendented for me considering my dad lives one state over and my mom live half the country away.  Miraculously, this year it worked out that everyone is coming my way. 

The only wrinkle in the plan is that there is some overlap between B’s family’s get together and mine.  Nothing we can’t handle, but I’m not going to lie, I sometimes wish I didn’t have to deal with it.  Terrible, I know. 

I just still feel awkward around his family.  And we will be going to his mom’s house, which is about 2 hours away and will be spending two nights there.  I don’t mind it, we’ve done that before, but this time his brother, sister-in-law, nephew and niece will be there too.  Also no big deal, but I feel super awkward about the morning thing.  I feel weird getting out of bed with in my pajamas, with bed head and morning breath, and hanging out with the fam.  Not to mention that I really hate getting ready at other people’s houses.  I take a long time.  And then feel like everyone is waiting on me.  I’m just the sort of person who doesn’t go anywhere without a shower, full make-up, and my hair done.  (And trust me, this sounds more impressive than it is…..if you saw me you would never realize how much time and effort I put into the whole deal).  Not that it is a big deal for people to see me in the morning without make-up or whatever, but I don’t know, it feels too intimate somehow.  Am I alone here, people? 

Anyway, I’m trying to get him to agree to come home the second night instead of staying over, and that way I’ll only be there for one morning and only his mom will be there then.  She’s already been through my morning routine.  Also my dad and family is coming here the next day so I’d rather get an early start with them than spend the morning at B’s mom’s house and still have the drive home.   I’m very happy that B and I will be together for all of the Christmas festivities with both of our families, I just wish it didn’t interfere with the time I have with my family.  I shouldn’t complain, because this year is going to be easier than most years I’m sure.

I’m trying to keep the selfishness all in my head.  Because I want to be fair.  And I don’t want to give him and/or his family short shrift, because they’ve had a rough year and it is their first Christmas without his dad. 

Oh!  And B decided that our mothers should meet.  I said, well, that’s fine, but I don’t think this will be the time because my mom will only be in town for essentially one day.  But it worked out that she will be joining us (me, my mom, stepdad, sister, and B) for Christmas Eve.  Yikes.  I’m sure it will be fine, I’m just not good at mixing groups.  I think it will be a little awkward, but as long as everyone (read:  my sister and step-dad) behaves themselves, it should be manageable. 

Anyway, enough about me and my self-centeredness.   I’m making myself sound bad.

I’m finding that buying B Christmas presents this year is much easier than last year.  I guess I just know him so much better.  I’m actually enjoying it.    And I’m interested to see if it is easier for him too.  Remember last year, folks, with the Crocs??  Shudder.  Anyway, I have been confining my shopping to late evenings, because I just don’t have the patience for the ALL the people.  And the traffic.  Ugh. 

I am already regretting one gift I bought for him.   I was shopping at Linens and Things, which is one its last couple of weeks in business.  Everything 50% off.  So I saw this stupid football snack bowl.  Shaped like a football, has a little button that when you push it, the top swings open and the football theme song comes on.  A dumb gift, ok, I know.  But it was cheap and kind of funny.  But it occurs to me now that I’m not going to find it nearly as charming should we combine households at some point.  B will want to display it or use it at dinner parties.  But all sales are final, so he’s getting it.  If we move in together I’ll just trash it with his hideously ugly coffee table.  Or banish it to the basement with all the other sports paraphernalia that he has sitting around his house now.  I’ll figure it out.

Only 5 more days until my boss takes a 3 week vacay for the holidays!  I enjoy the time apart from him almost as much as I enjoy the holidays themselves…