Archive for family

You have to give a little, take a little….

{ December 15, 2008 @ 5:56 am } · { family, holidays, love, relationships }
{ Comments (2) }

I’m just now realizing that being in a relationship means that I have to compromise, which essentially just boils down to this little fact:  I don’t always get what I want.

I never said I wasn’t selfish, folks. 

The current compromise is Christmas.  This will be nothing new to those of you who have been in adult relationships before.  Christmas is a tricky time….how to fit everybody in?  A common problem, but one I’ve never had to concern myself with before.  And actually it isn’t really going to be a problem, things actually worked out easier this year than they normally do.  I don’t have to travel, which is pretty much uprecendented for me considering my dad lives one state over and my mom live half the country away.  Miraculously, this year it worked out that everyone is coming my way. 

The only wrinkle in the plan is that there is some overlap between B’s family’s get together and mine.  Nothing we can’t handle, but I’m not going to lie, I sometimes wish I didn’t have to deal with it.  Terrible, I know. 

I just still feel awkward around his family.  And we will be going to his mom’s house, which is about 2 hours away and will be spending two nights there.  I don’t mind it, we’ve done that before, but this time his brother, sister-in-law, nephew and niece will be there too.  Also no big deal, but I feel super awkward about the morning thing.  I feel weird getting out of bed with in my pajamas, with bed head and morning breath, and hanging out with the fam.  Not to mention that I really hate getting ready at other people’s houses.  I take a long time.  And then feel like everyone is waiting on me.  I’m just the sort of person who doesn’t go anywhere without a shower, full make-up, and my hair done.  (And trust me, this sounds more impressive than it is…..if you saw me you would never realize how much time and effort I put into the whole deal).  Not that it is a big deal for people to see me in the morning without make-up or whatever, but I don’t know, it feels too intimate somehow.  Am I alone here, people? 

Anyway, I’m trying to get him to agree to come home the second night instead of staying over, and that way I’ll only be there for one morning and only his mom will be there then.  She’s already been through my morning routine.  Also my dad and family is coming here the next day so I’d rather get an early start with them than spend the morning at B’s mom’s house and still have the drive home.   I’m very happy that B and I will be together for all of the Christmas festivities with both of our families, I just wish it didn’t interfere with the time I have with my family.  I shouldn’t complain, because this year is going to be easier than most years I’m sure.

I’m trying to keep the selfishness all in my head.  Because I want to be fair.  And I don’t want to give him and/or his family short shrift, because they’ve had a rough year and it is their first Christmas without his dad. 

Oh!  And B decided that our mothers should meet.  I said, well, that’s fine, but I don’t think this will be the time because my mom will only be in town for essentially one day.  But it worked out that she will be joining us (me, my mom, stepdad, sister, and B) for Christmas Eve.  Yikes.  I’m sure it will be fine, I’m just not good at mixing groups.  I think it will be a little awkward, but as long as everyone (read:  my sister and step-dad) behaves themselves, it should be manageable. 

Anyway, enough about me and my self-centeredness.   I’m making myself sound bad.

I’m finding that buying B Christmas presents this year is much easier than last year.  I guess I just know him so much better.  I’m actually enjoying it.    And I’m interested to see if it is easier for him too.  Remember last year, folks, with the Crocs??  Shudder.  Anyway, I have been confining my shopping to late evenings, because I just don’t have the patience for the ALL the people.  And the traffic.  Ugh. 

I am already regretting one gift I bought for him.   I was shopping at Linens and Things, which is one its last couple of weeks in business.  Everything 50% off.  So I saw this stupid football snack bowl.  Shaped like a football, has a little button that when you push it, the top swings open and the football theme song comes on.  A dumb gift, ok, I know.  But it was cheap and kind of funny.  But it occurs to me now that I’m not going to find it nearly as charming should we combine households at some point.  B will want to display it or use it at dinner parties.  But all sales are final, so he’s getting it.  If we move in together I’ll just trash it with his hideously ugly coffee table.  Or banish it to the basement with all the other sports paraphernalia that he has sitting around his house now.  I’ll figure it out.

Only 5 more days until my boss takes a 3 week vacay for the holidays!  I enjoy the time apart from him almost as much as I enjoy the holidays themselves…

A little catch-up

{ November 4, 2008 @ 4:05 am } · { dating, family, friends, life, love }
{ Comments (1) }

Hey!

I briefly considered doing NaPoBloMo (or however you say that – I find the name seriously annoying), but then I thought, “Seriously, [J]?”  I consider myself lucky if I can dream up enough to say once every two weeks.  I’ve never quite found a way to turn the mundane into something entertaining.  Is it wrong that the only reason I ever really wish for a more exciting life is because it would give me something to write about?

After my last post, Jess asked me how I’ve been doing (due in no small part, I’m sure, to the fact that I’ve barely been writing).  

I’ve been fine.  Same old, same old, you know?  Same job, same house, same boy.

I participated in a couple of breast cancer events during October.  Of course, I do it because it is a good cause, but also, it gives me an opportunity to hang out with the women in life.  I did a walk with some friends (one a survivor) and another with my family (grandma is a two time survivor).  And don’t get me wrong, I love the men in my life beyond measure, but there is just something different and wonderful about spending good time with the ladies.  More giggly, more open, no shame. 

Plus I love pink stuff.

What else……

The last few days here have been GORGEOUS.  Sunny, warm, beautiful fall colors.  But man, it is HOT at work.  Ugh.  Ridiculous hot up in there.  I have a window in my office, so it is a little better.  But my poor clerk out in the front office sweats his ass off, and then it starts to smell like a boy’s dorm in there.  Not great.

B and I had an argument this weekend.  More specifically, I was mad at him.  We very rarely argue, mostly because he makes it SO HARD.  He does not engage in an argument.  And then I end up wondering if I’m nuts, being an irrational female.  

Truthfully, though, I know that isn’t the case.  I very rarely get mad at him.  Annoyed, yes.  Mad, no. 

Anyway, like I said, it is really hard to argue with him.  I think he doesn’t engage in it because he has absolutely no clue what to do/say when I get mad.  I have never seen a more deer-in-the-headlights look.   It is totally classic.  So he goes silent, and then a minute later will try to say something funny, hoping, I think, that I’ll forget and move on.  Sometimes I do. 

Yesterday I didn’t.  I kept at it.  Told him I was mad and why.  Then he left to go get some stuff we needed to cook breakfast.  He came back and tried to make regular small talk.  I let him know again that I was mad.  While we were cooking, I went on a very slight rampage during which he just stared at me with the look discussed above.  Didn’t say anything.  We sat down for breakfast and he was chit-chatting away.  I told him, “what you did hurt my feelings”.  I got a very begrudging apology (finally at least that).  This continued and he realized I wasn’t going to just drop it. 

I told him that his apology was one of the more pathetic ones I had heard lately.  Then he told me that he felt attacked and that I was overreacting.  I, of course, turned on the waterworks (which always pisses me off), and left the room for a little while. 

But usually when we argue I just end up feeling sorry for him because he just has no idea what to do/say.  Eventually I got over it and told him if he thought that was an overreaction, he had a few things to learn about women.  And my favorite part was how happy/relieved he was that I wasn’t mad anymore.  We had a nice make-up, and then when I wasn’t coming at him in anger, he gave me a real apology.  We rarely ever argue, so I think it scares him when I get mad. 

If/when we ever move in together, I think it is going to be a steep learning curve for him.  It is easy to keep things nice and not get mad often when we only see each other during the weekend and don’t share any responsibilities.  That’s the main thing I worry about with out relationship.  If what we have now will translate nicely into a relationship that is full-time and with shared space and responsibilities.  But that is a transition that every couple has to make at some point, and when the time comes, I think we’ll be ok.

Why is coming up with a title so hard?

{ September 26, 2008 @ 6:12 pm } · { dating, family, life, relationships }
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Hey Guys!  I haven’t posted in a while.  Just been a busy week, I guess.  My dad and step-mom are coming to visit for the weekend, so I have been a lot of prep work.  Which basically just means cleaning.  I hate to admit it, but I’m a bit of a slob.  Not in a dirty way, but on any given day I may have most of the contents of my closet strewn across my room, and I have a ginormous pile of shoes that never goes away.  I just don’t have anywhere to put them.  And how many pairs of them are in my regular rotation?  Oh, about 5, probably. 

Also I decided that my house wasn’t enough of a mess already, so I decided to paint my bedroom (a task I have been meaning to accomplish since March).  So yeah, that was fun.

Anyway, thank you for all the comments on my last post.  They were all well thought out, and I thought there was good stuff in all of them.

Ultimately, I was just having a moment of insecurity.  Which, God knows I do from time to time.  I did talk to B about it when I saw him over the weekend.  Told him that sometimes I think he would never want to give up the bachelor life.  He said basically, no.  He enjoys his life right now, but he also wants other things.  The priorities he has right now will not always be his priorities.   

Also, as much as he enjoys his single man life, I don’t think it would be the same if he didn’t have me in his life.  He has been a single boy since the beginning of time, and there is a reason why he wanted to find someone.  All the baseball/football (I am SERIOUSLY regretting the start of football season) games in the world do not add up to more than having love in your life.  (I know all you men out there are shaking your heads right now, saying “huh?  What in the world is she talking about?).  In any case, I, like most women before me, am not going to force poor B to choose between me and his sports.  That would be silly.  I just always want to feel confident that I am a priority for him. 

Anyway, just to clarify, I never meant that I am anxious to get married now.  B and I are not at the point where it is either fish or cut bait.  Of course, I wouldn’t (and I assume he wouldn’t) bother to keep on dating if I didn’t think we had a future together.  But I’ve never been bothered by the pace of our relationship, and if anything, I’ve been the one wanting to take things slow.  I just wanted to make sure that he considers it a possibility.

Oh, and for those of you who asked, B and I have been dating for about, er…..18 months.  But we got off to a pretty slow start, because we only see each other on weekends, and I wasn’t completely sold at the beginning.

So anway, I cleared up my issues, and except for a little tantrum I threw when I realized that no, we weren’t going to get to play golf like I wanted (and we had discussed) because the Bears kicked off at noon.  Silly me.  I had totally forgotten about football and the havoc it wreaks on our Sundays.  Which isn’t a big deal, except that Sunday happens to be the only real day we get to spend together, and I hate football.  But I managed to ease the pain with some retail therapy while he watched the game.

I’m looking forward to this visit with my dad and stepmom.  It has been two years since they have been here to visit me.  We have tickets to the Sox game (and don’t even get me started on how I feel about the Sox right now, after they TOTALLY blew it in Minnesota), so that should be a good time.  And I’m happy that B and my parents get to spend some more time together.  I like it when they get to hang out together and B can see how great my parents are and why I love them so much, and vice versa.  And we are having such wonderful indian summer weather here lately, so I love to be outside soaking up what is left it.

Have a great weekend!

We are family

{ September 9, 2008 @ 3:37 am } · { family, moving in }
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Over the weekend B and I went to visit my dad and stepmom.  They live about 5 hours away from me, and B had never been with me to visit them.  In fact, the only time B has met my dad at all was at my birthday party.  So I was looking forward to us going.

It went really well.  We had a really good time.  It was nice and easy.  My dad is really easy-going, as is B, so they got along well.  And they kept us pretty busy all weekend.  We lost some money at the horse races.  We went golfing, which was a first for me.  My dad bought me a set of clubs last summer, and I’ve been to the driving range a few times, with fairly limited success.  But it was pretty fun actually playing.  Except for about 4 holes in the middle where I got all 9s.  I was pretty aggravated at that point. 

On Saturday night, my step-brother, who is 24, took us all out to their city’s downtown area and we went bar-hopping.  First he took us to an upscale mexican restaurant/bar for mojitos.  I had strawberry.  Yum!  Then we went to a belgian-themed bar, for beer.  I can’t stand beer, but B has this fantasy of turning me into a beer-drinking, football-watching kind of girl (not going to happen), so he and my step-brother found a peach beer for me to drink.  Truthfully, it wasn’t bad.  I actually kind of liked it, but don’t tell B.  After that we went to a blues bar with a live band.  A great way to cap off the evening. 

My dad tried to talk to B a lot about his dad.   I appreciated that, because I think a lot of people would have skirted the subject, given that it hasn’t been even a month since his dad passed away.  And I think B was happy to talk about him.

I was just happy to have my two favorite men in the same place for a few days.  And of course, my stepmom and brother. 

Kara asked me if B and I have discussed moving in together any more.  We haven’t.  We sort of tabled that discussion, because it just isn’t very practical right now.  My job is down here, his is up there.  Also, his place isn’t big enough for the both of us, so he would need to sell his place and find a bigger one.  So we have a few details to work out before that can happen.  I don’t know, maybe we are doing it backwards.  Maybe we need to make the moving in together the top priority and work everything else out from there, I don’t know.  I’m not sure if we are supposed to wait for the time to be right or make the time right. 

It’s just weird because I’ve been so independent for so long.  And B too.  In some sense, I think it is easier to move in/get married when you are younger.  None of my girlfriends ever lived on their own.  Not that I think that is better, necessarily, just maybe an easier transition, when you are just getting out of college and are used to moving every year and having roommates.  Not that I wouldn’t love to live with B, its just that I’m so used to being selfish and doing what is easiest/best for me.  So when I think about moving up there while I have my current job and signing myself up for an hour long (at least) commute twice a day,  just think, “meh”.  Is that bad?

So, anyway, we’ll definitely get there, I’m just not sure how soon it is going to be.  Probably once B is able to sell his place and get a larger one, then we’ll really give it more serious consideration.

Let not your hearts be heavy

{ August 27, 2008 @ 2:18 am } · { death, family, love, relationships, worries }
{ Comments (1) }

That’s what the priest at B’s dad’s funeral kept repeating:  “Let not your hearts be heavy”. 

Easier said than done though, right?

NotAmy reminded me after my last post that although the services were over and life was back to normal, likely the death of B’s father will affect us for quite some time to come. 

It’s not my father.  I try to thank God every day for that very thing – keeping my family healthy.  It’s no small thing, that I know for sure.  So for me, life as usual resumes, and it is easy to forget that the same isn’t true for my B.  He is still hurting so much,  and sleeping fitfully at night.  But he’s brave and he’s a man, so he doesn’t talk about it, and I follow his lead and gloss over it as well.   But said or unsaid, it is still there.  Indeed, his heart is heavy.

B has made it clear that he intends to visit his mother every weekend.  Indefinitely, I guess.  His parents moved about 2.5 hours away last year, to a city where they know no one.  So now his mom is all alone, with all of her family back here.  B is worried about his mom and I think feels some sort of responsibility to take care of her, even though she is a very capable woman and doesn’t really need taken care of.  But he has decided that he will go to see her every weekend. 

As you dear readers know, because of the distance between my house and B’s, I only get to see B on weekends.  And regrettably, weekends are only two days long.  So B doesn’t have time to visit his mother and see me.   All of our plans have fallen by the wayside for the forseeable future.

Initially, I’m slightly irritated, I’m not going to lie.  And believe me, I know how selfish that is.  But it just makes me sad not to see B.  I want to be with him.  But it isn’t about me.  And I have to keep reminding myself that it has been less than two weeks since B’s dad passed away.  So I have to be patient and supportive and understanding.  I just wish it came a little more naturally to me than it does.  Regardless, I know I can’t lay my issues on top of what he’s already dealing with, so I’ll suck it up.  I’ve been trying to figure out what I can do to make this time easier on B, and I guess this is it – allow him to do what he feels he needs to do without hassling him.

Of course, I’m glad that B is the kind of man who can be counted on, and will do anything for his family.  I know those same qualities make him a caring partner, and will someday make him a wonderful father.  I just miss him, that’s all.   

My heart too is heavy.

It’s just tears and rain

{ August 21, 2008 @ 1:02 am } · { death, family, Uncategorized, work }
{ Comments (2) }

Thanks again for the well-wishes, ladies.  You guys are the best.

We made it through the wake and funeral.  It went as well as it could, and they had a really nice turnout.  There were a lot of rough moments, as there always are in this type of situation.  But overall B and his family are holding up pretty well under the circumstances.    And I think they are relieved that all of the services are over and they can have time to themselves. 

As for me, I tried to walk to line between being there for whatever B needed and being unobtrusive.  Because no matter how important B and I are to each other, the fact is that I didn’t know his dad all that well, and I don’t know his family all that well (although better now).   So there were times I felt out of place, because of course, my level of grief is not even remotely on the same level as theirs.  In fact, most of what I feel is sympathy and caring for B and the rest of his family, as opposed to my own grief at the loss of B’s father. 

It is kind of an awkward spot to be in, because B and I are not married or engaged or anything of the sort.  Many of the family members that were there I was just meeting for the first time.  So I’m not exactly part of the family, but I wanted to be as supportive of B as I could.

During the funeral ceremony there wasn’t room in the front row for me to sit by B, so I sat in the second row, all by myself.  Of course, I cried through the entire thing, just as I feared I would, but it was ok.  It’s ok to cry at funerals, and obviously I wasn’t doing it in a loud or disruptive way.  Anyway, when the funeral was over, the funeral director announced that everyone should come pay their last respects and then exit through the side door, starting with the back row.  I started getting nervous, when it is my turn, do I stay or do I go??

Anyway, so when it was my turn, I went up to the casket, paid my respects, and then turned around and sat back down.  The only people left at that point were B’s immediate family (mom, brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephew) and his Dad’s sister and brother.  At that point the two of them (B’s aunt and uncle) went up to the casket and were holding each other and sobbing.  It was breaking my heart, and B’s immediate family all started breaking down then too.  Then his aunt and uncle exited through the side door.  That’s when I thought, yeah, I don’t think I should be in here for this, so I got up and quietly exited myself.  So I felt kinda stupid, not knowing what the right thing to do was.  But I felt that B’s immediate family should have their privacy, so I think it was the right thing.  Of course, nobody in there was paying any attention to me during this time, so I’m sure I’m the only one who was worried about it.

The nice thing is that I did get to meet pretty much all of B’s extended family.  Of course, I wish it hadn’t been in that way, but I guess that’s just the way things work out in life.   They were all very nice and seemed very happy to meet me.  His aunt told me that his grandmother said that she was pleased with me, which is apparently about as good as you can do with her, so I was happy with that.  Some of the others were just very very happy B had a girlfriend.  He must have been one sad case before me. 

I was thinking about how hard it would be to work at a funeral home.  From the funeral directors down to the ushers, I just don’t think I could do that type of job.  You have to be with people during the worst moments of their lives and witness pain at its rawest.  I could not do it.  It’s nice, I guess, that you can help someone out during such a tough time, but no.  I would weep every day.  I might write the funeral home a thank you note, because it is probably a pretty thankless job, and hey, someone’s gotta do it.

Anyway, thanks again for the kind words.

Weekend in Review

{ May 28, 2008 @ 1:32 am } · { baseball, dating, family, love, relationships, travel }
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I love a long weekend.

It was hard to go back to work today, but on the other hand, tomorrow is already Wednesday, and that’s not so bad. 

I had a nice holiday weekend.  On Saturday B and I went to see my boys play with my friend and her husband.  It was a nice day at the ballpark, but the game was kind of boring.  My Sox didn’t score at all and the Angels only scored twice.  But we had a good time. 

Here’s my favorite player:

On Sunday morning B and I went to his parents’ place, which is about 2 hours away, out in the sticks.  Prior to this weekend I hadn’t spent much time with his parents at all (we’re talking hours, total), so I was a little nervous.  We were staying the night and coming home on Monday.

It was kind of awkward.  B’s parents are kind of…….boring.  I hate to say that, I really do.  They are very nice people, but really.  Even conversation was challenging.  They don’t play games, cards, nothing.  We basically just sat around looking at each other for much of the time.  I was really trying to make conversation, but it wasn’t easy.  Now I understand why B doesn’t go visit for more than one day at a time. 

Also, I find the whole morning routine a little awkward when staying with someone new.  I didn’t end up going out and visiting with his parents while I had bed head and morning breath, because B got up and into the shower, and then I got up when he was done and took a shower.  But, being a girl, I took quite a while to get ready (I’m not a wash-and-go kind of girl), and I felt bad that they were all waiting on me.  But I am who I am, I guess, and that much hasn’t changed in 30 years, and I don’t think it will now. 

On Saturday B and I were talking about our jobs when B mentioned that he might apply for a certain job that is about 30 miles north of where he lives (which is about 40 miles north of where I live).  He said that he would probably want to move a little farther north, and talked about an area in which one of his friends lives.  But, he said, he would probably have to get a roommate.

“You don’t want a roommate,” I said, “do you?”

“Well….it could be you.”

Oh.  Well.  Hmmm…..

I told him that it could be me, but not while I still have the job that I have, because it would be too much of a commute.

Something to think about for the future, I guess.  It would be a big step, though.  To go from seeing each other only on the weekends to living together.  I usually think about moving up there closer when I get a new job (not that I’ve been doing much to make that happen), but still having my own space and ease into it. 

It is all in the timing, I guess, how every thing works out.  Depends on when he gets a new job, when I get a new job, or he gets a new place, because me moving into his current condo is not an option.  I would never fit.  So we’ll see.

On the other hand, I’m not getting any younger, so maybe I need to quit easing and start moving things along. 

Oh, and I got a new bedding set that I think is really pretty:

So now I’m going to have to paint my bedroom again, because that is not going to look too pretty with my blue walls. But it is so clean and fresh and just a lot less busy than my old comforter. And that makes me happy.

Death Wish

{ May 6, 2008 @ 3:51 am } · { aging, family, friends, random thoughts, Uncategorized }
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Today I had a conversation with my friend Jaded that really bothered me.  That is not an unusual occurrence with Jaded, but this one bothered me more so than the others. 

She says she wants to die young.  Now, she never did tell me what she considered young.  But she kept saying “retirement age”, but that is still a pretty large range.  She figures that once she is no longer “useful”, she doesn’t want to be around anymore. 

I think that is a pretty insulting way of looking at retirement-aged and older people.     Also?  I think it is a slap in the face to all the people (at any age) who died before they felt it was their time.  Case in point – my grandfather died when he was sixty-nine.  He was diagnosed with lung cancer, had surgery, and died within 6 months.  Prior to his diagnosis he played golf everyday, went out fishing on his boat frequently, loved to play games, goofed around in church, and was pretty social.  We all loved to spend time with him – he was strong, he was fit, he was fun, he was smart, he had a sense of humor.  He loved life, and he always had a twinkle in his eyes.  His life was not sad or wasted or lonely.  Even now, eight years later, I cry on the spot everytime I think about the last time I said good-bye to him.     He was not ready to go, and we certainly were not ready for him to go.

Of course, I know that things get worse for people as they get older.  And some stories are much much sadder.  Some people die alone and lonely in nursing homes.  Some go slowly with diseases like Alzheimers.  Many people live for years with a very poor quality of life.  I get that. 

But to make a blanket statement that you want to die young because you don’t want to get old and no longer be useful?   I don’t know, it just seemed kind of…..luxurious to me.

Baseball, Flights, and Losers

{ May 1, 2008 @ 4:50 am } · { baseball, dating, family, goals, love, random thoughts, relationships, travel }
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So B and I took Friday off and went to DC for a long weekend. My mom, stepdad and sister live there, so we stayed with them. B planned the weekend because his Cubs were playing the Nats at their new stadium, so my mom got tickets through work for Friday and Saturday nights’ games.  Initially my mom had just gotten tickets for the Saturday game.  I had already told B, no, we are not going to both games – there are plenty of other things to do in DC, but my mom was really worried the game on Saturday would get rained out, so she got tickets for Friday so poor little B wouldn’t have to go an entire trip with no baseball.

Following is a bit of conversation between my mom and I at the game.  Keep in mind that my sister and I played softball for years, so she is not new to softball/baseball games.  But it has been a long time.  Here you go:

(Mom was complaining that baseball games are boring, and one of the Nats just got the first home run of the game):

Mom:  Oh, FINALLY somebody got a home run.

Me:  Mom, it is only the bottom of the first inning.

Mom:  Still, I’ve been waiting forever.  Hockey is way more exciting than this.

(And here, in about the 3rd or 4th inning):

Mom:  Hey, [J], how long are the halfs?

Me:  Huh?  Ma, this is not being timed.  

Mom:  No, I mean, when is halftime?

Me:  Are you new or something?  This is BASEBALL, there is no halftime. 

Mom:  Oh, that’s right.  This really doesn’t move as fast as hockey.

Me:  Mother, enough about the hockey already!

 

Anyway, we had a good time.  This is the first time that B and my family have been able to spend any real time in each others’ company (and now that I think about it, it is also the most consecutive time he has ever spent in MY company).  I think it went well.  B is very easygoing, and he is easy to please.  The weather is beautiful, so we were able to do some sightseeing, which I’ve done before, but it is always nice to do again.   Also we did some Wii playing (tennis and bowling), and I’m ashamed to say that I am too out of shape even to play the Wii.  My tennis arm hurt for a couple of days, which is pretty pathetic for a girl who was the captain of and the top seeded player on her tennis team.  But hey, I’m not as young as I used to be.  What can you do.

B and I had some tense moments at the airport.  As I’ve mentioned before, we have very different traveling styles.  B is a nervous flier, and he likes to be at the airport at least 2 hours early.  I, on the other hand, prefer to go at the last minute (partly because I don’t want to sit there and wait and partly because I’m just always late, everywhere I go).  Usually when we travel, I just go along with B’s plan, because both times we have flown, he has paid for my flight with his miles, so I feel like I should accommodate him. 

But on Sunday afternoon, I was just running behind, and as I was trying to get ready, he kept telling me, “babe, we really need to go”.  The second time (as I was packing), I said, “what the hell do you think I’m doing here, just fucking around?”  And I didn’t use my nicest voice.  So I was kind of irritated.  When we got to the airport, through security, and sitting on the tram to take us to the other side of the airport to the gate, I told him “[f]or the record (we attorneys are always concerned about “the record”), I have never missed a flight.  Not ever.”  He, in turn, told me “I just don’t like to cut it close….for the record.”  He didn’t use his nicest voice either.    So I silent treatmented him for a while (I know, so mature).  I don’t think he minded.

But by the time we got on the plane, we were both over it.

In other news, B and I and my Mom and Stepdad decided to have a Biggest Loser Couples Edition competition between the four of us.  All of us would like to lose some weight and just be healthier in general, and wanted to have an incentive to do so.  So tomorrow it begins and it ends on Labor Day.  I’m not so much looking forward to it, but being a little slimmer for summer would not be a bad thing.  Today I lived it up and I had a burrito for lunch (and the other half for dinner) and then walked uptown for some Cold Stone.  Mmmmmmm. 

So now I’m trying to dream up some healthy meals to cook.  This is tricky, since I’m not crazy about a lot of vegetables.  I’m better than I used to be, but still not that great.  If any of you have ideas, I’d love to hear them. 

Hopefully this competition won’t cause problems for B and I.  Already he told me that he thinks I’m the weakest link (note – I just read through this post about 3 times before I realized I had that written as “linkest weak”) ,  because I don’t work out regularly like he does.  I asked him what was so great about working out 4-5 times a week and never losing any weight (like he does)?  How does that make him better than me?  But I think it will be ok.  He and I like to cook together on the weekends when I’m there, so we can work on making healthier choices and think of some fun physical activities to do together (besides the obvious, of course).   And if we win, we’ll have a little more cash in our pockets!  I’m ready to bring my A-game, and hopefully B is too.   

Anyway, Happy Thursday!

30ish

{ February 20, 2008 @ 3:26 am } · { aging, birthday, family, friends, life, love, relationships }
{ Comments (2) }

So I am turning 30 on Sunday, a fact, which, if you’ve been paying attention, has been often lamented in my blog.  My dad, stepmom, and sister will be celebrating my birthday in Cabo, but because of a trial I have starting the week after, I am not able to go.  So my mom planned to come into town on Thursday and stay the weekend.  But on Wednesday of last week, she called and told me that they was coming tomorrow (last Thursday) instead of this Thursday.  Yikes. 

All I could think was that I needed to get home right away and clean my house.  But then I though, wait, why the hell are they coming a week early?  And who is “they” anyway?  It was supposed to just be my mom.  Anyway, as it turns out, my mom planned a surprise birthday party for me on Saturday.  But it was taking place back home, not here where I live.  So she had to tell me because she really didn’t have a way to get me there otherwise.   Basically everyone I know was in on the secret. 

Including B.  So I texted him and told him that he was in big trouble and that we were going to have a talk about the circle of trust, and who is in the circle of trust (me and him) and who is not (my mother).  Really it is more of a line than a circle, but whatever. 

So then I was all in a panic.  Who was coming to this party?  I had to find something to wear, and I need to have my highlights done, and on and on and on.  Oh, and apparently B would now be meeting my entire family all at once.  Yikes.  I wasn’t ready.  Mind you, he hadn’t even met any of my parents (I have 4) or my sister.  Let alone aunts, uncles, cousins, grandma, etc.  So I was feeling a little overwhelmed (which I think contributed to how upset I felt about V-Day). 

My sister flew in on Friday night, and on Saturday, B came over to my house, picked us up and drove us back home for the party.   

B had booked a room for us at the same hotel where all of the out-of-town guests were staying….including all of my parents.  Even though I am thisclose to 30 years old, I still feel like awkward about telling my dad that I’m sharing a hotel room with my boyfriend.  But whatever. 

Anyway, the party was wonderful.  So much fun.  All of my friends, a lot of my family, and we just a really good time all around.  It just made me feel special, especially since a lot of the guests had to travel from out of town.  And my mom is fantastic, planning the whole thing for me from halfway across the country.  She loves me.   

AND I got several spa gift certificates….ahhhh, I do so love a good massage.  I think I might schedule a massage for this weekend on my actual birthday.  And maybe a pedi too.

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