Archive for friends

A little catch-up

{ November 4, 2008 @ 4:05 am } · { dating, family, friends, life, love }
{ } · { Comments (1) }

Hey!

I briefly considered doing NaPoBloMo (or however you say that – I find the name seriously annoying), but then I thought, “Seriously, [J]?”  I consider myself lucky if I can dream up enough to say once every two weeks.  I’ve never quite found a way to turn the mundane into something entertaining.  Is it wrong that the only reason I ever really wish for a more exciting life is because it would give me something to write about?

After my last post, Jess asked me how I’ve been doing (due in no small part, I’m sure, to the fact that I’ve barely been writing).  

I’ve been fine.  Same old, same old, you know?  Same job, same house, same boy.

I participated in a couple of breast cancer events during October.  Of course, I do it because it is a good cause, but also, it gives me an opportunity to hang out with the women in life.  I did a walk with some friends (one a survivor) and another with my family (grandma is a two time survivor).  And don’t get me wrong, I love the men in my life beyond measure, but there is just something different and wonderful about spending good time with the ladies.  More giggly, more open, no shame. 

Plus I love pink stuff.

What else……

The last few days here have been GORGEOUS.  Sunny, warm, beautiful fall colors.  But man, it is HOT at work.  Ugh.  Ridiculous hot up in there.  I have a window in my office, so it is a little better.  But my poor clerk out in the front office sweats his ass off, and then it starts to smell like a boy’s dorm in there.  Not great.

B and I had an argument this weekend.  More specifically, I was mad at him.  We very rarely argue, mostly because he makes it SO HARD.  He does not engage in an argument.  And then I end up wondering if I’m nuts, being an irrational female.  

Truthfully, though, I know that isn’t the case.  I very rarely get mad at him.  Annoyed, yes.  Mad, no. 

Anyway, like I said, it is really hard to argue with him.  I think he doesn’t engage in it because he has absolutely no clue what to do/say when I get mad.  I have never seen a more deer-in-the-headlights look.   It is totally classic.  So he goes silent, and then a minute later will try to say something funny, hoping, I think, that I’ll forget and move on.  Sometimes I do. 

Yesterday I didn’t.  I kept at it.  Told him I was mad and why.  Then he left to go get some stuff we needed to cook breakfast.  He came back and tried to make regular small talk.  I let him know again that I was mad.  While we were cooking, I went on a very slight rampage during which he just stared at me with the look discussed above.  Didn’t say anything.  We sat down for breakfast and he was chit-chatting away.  I told him, “what you did hurt my feelings”.  I got a very begrudging apology (finally at least that).  This continued and he realized I wasn’t going to just drop it. 

I told him that his apology was one of the more pathetic ones I had heard lately.  Then he told me that he felt attacked and that I was overreacting.  I, of course, turned on the waterworks (which always pisses me off), and left the room for a little while. 

But usually when we argue I just end up feeling sorry for him because he just has no idea what to do/say.  Eventually I got over it and told him if he thought that was an overreaction, he had a few things to learn about women.  And my favorite part was how happy/relieved he was that I wasn’t mad anymore.  We had a nice make-up, and then when I wasn’t coming at him in anger, he gave me a real apology.  We rarely ever argue, so I think it scares him when I get mad. 

If/when we ever move in together, I think it is going to be a steep learning curve for him.  It is easy to keep things nice and not get mad often when we only see each other during the weekend and don’t share any responsibilities.  That’s the main thing I worry about with out relationship.  If what we have now will translate nicely into a relationship that is full-time and with shared space and responsibilities.  But that is a transition that every couple has to make at some point, and when the time comes, I think we’ll be ok.

Easy like Sunday morning…

{ September 15, 2008 @ 4:01 am } · { babies, baseball, boobs, friends, indoor sports, love, sex }
{ } · { Comments (3) }

Oh, it is Sunday evening again.  I’m just here at home, trying to soak up the last little bit of the weekend. 

I’ve had a nice weekend.  Got to see my girlfriends, got to see my B.  What more could a girl ask for?

Friday evening I went up to B’s and spent the night.  We didn’tdo much – I’m always tired on Friday nights.  But we went out for some Mexican food (my favorite) and then went back home and just hung out.  B was feeling kind of…..well…randy.  We tried some new things.  Not necessarily all things that I would be dying to do again, but it was nice to have a break from the usual.  Then we just fell asleep and went to breakfast in the morning. 

Then I drove to my hometown (about 2.24 hours) to spend some time with my girls.  Last night I went together with one of my girlfriends, and then the two of us headed over to our friend Susie’s parent’s house.  Susie and her husband and two little girls were hanging out at her parent’s house, and they wanted us to come over and visit.  It was really nice.  I really love all of my friend’s parents (keeping in mind that I’ve known all of these girls for about 15 years), and I rarely get to see them.  We all stayed up until about 2:00 in the morning just chatting away. 

Today we went party hopping.  To two birthday parties.  For one-year olds.  So yeah, exciting stuff.  But with my girlfriends, it never really matters what the activity is – we always have so much fun in each others’ company.  So despite the deafening noise of all the small children in attendance at the parties, it was a good day.  I got to hold some babies, give some adorable baby gifts, eat some cake, and spend time with friends. 

And oh, being around all these babies did not help my baby fever.  I just love their sweet little faces and I do really so look forward to being a mother, when the time is right for me.  I try not to get anxious about it, because I know it will happen eventually, but is was easier to ignore before my age started with a 3. 

Anway, I got a LOT of questions this weekend about my relationship with B.  “How is it going?  Is it serious?  Is it good?  Just good, or is it great?  Really great?  Are you in love?  If he proposed to you right now, would you be happy?  Would you be happy and just say yes?  Or would you be REALLY happy and cry and say YES!  YES!! …….”   So on and so forth.  Ad nauseum.  That kind of talk always embarasses me.  I just don’t talk like that.  It just isn’t my style.  B knows how I feel about him and I have no trouble telling him, but I’m just not a gusher.  So my face always turns red and I feel like I’m in 6th grade when my grandparents asked me about my first “boyfriend”.  Silly, I know.  But I’m just private that way. 

Cut me some slack, I come from a broken home.

While I was driving back home today, some dude on the interstate was checking me out.  You know how you can tell that another car is trying to stay even with you?  Well, he was doing that, and I looked over and he waved at me.  Then he stayed about even with me for the next 10 miles, and when he went to exit, I looked over and he blew me a kiss.  I just laughed.  Totally stupid, I know, but hey, I don’t get that much attention, so I found it amusing.  I think he liked the way my seatbelt cuts right into the middle of my boobage, thereby accenting my already too large chest.  Trust me, it’s totally hot. 

Oh, and my Sox pulled it out of their asses to win tonight, after totally blowing it in the 8th inning.  So yay!  We need all the wins we can get at this point to stay ahead of the division.

Ok, time to prepare myself for yet another week of work.  *Sigh*

Home again

{ July 14, 2008 @ 3:29 am } · { aging, dating, friends, goals, life, relationships, weekend }
{ } · { Leave a Comment }

Well, this weekend I left my car woes behind and took a trip home.  My girlfriends and I continued our 30th Birthday tour with my friend Tara’s birthday.  Tara is easily one of the best people I know.  Such a sweetheart and she would do anything for anyone.  I just love her.

Anyway, Tara’s big day was this weekend, so one of my other friends hosted a party at her house.  B was able to come with me, which was great (and also necessary since I was not going to be driving too far on my donut spare tire).  I like for him to come home with me, so he can get to know my friends better and because I think it is the best way for him to really know me in a way that I don’t think is fully accomplished otherwise.  Of course I try to be completely myself all of the time around B and his friends, but of course I don’t relate to his friends in the same way I relate to my own.  I just have so much fun with them, and I know B can see that.  And I think he really enjoys himself too.  My girlfriends like to ask inappropriate questions, and I enjoy watching B squirm and try to answer their questions. 

Last night one of my friends asked him where was the most unusual place that he’s ever had sex, and he just made up some silly answer.  He didn’t really have an answer.  He and I really need to work on that, because I don’t have a good answer for that question either.  I think we need to be more adventurous. 

One of my friends had a baby about a month ago.  I hadn’t met her yet, so I was excited when they came to the party for a little while with the baby.  When she was born she was only 4 pounds, and she is now up to 9 pounds, but she was still so so tiny.  And sweet.  I just loved her.  So I held her for quite some time.  B came inside after a while (he was outside with the boys while us girls were inside oohing and aahing over the baby) and said he some of them came outside to make a point of telling him I held the baby and I was doing a good job (although there is nothing too tricky about it).  Apparently that was big news.  You know how women are, “Oooh, J’s holding the baby!  I think she’s ready to have kids.”  Funny.  But whoa!!  No, definitely not ready yet.  I love babies (and children) and definitely feel the clock ticking and that little twinge when I see babies, but situationally, I’m not in the right place.  I try to picture me and my little baby living in my tiny one bedroom apartment, and me with no maternity insurance and no paid maternity leave.  Yeah, I’m pretty sure it isn’t the right time.

Anyway, a couple of you have expressed interest in a topic I discussed a while ago – how B and I had briefly talked about living together.  Nothing really new has developed in that area.  The problem is that right now we live and work pretty far apart, and I’m not anxious to add a long long commute onto my day.  So we won’t really explore the moving in together thing until one or both of us has a new job.  But its not like I’m actively hitting the job trail.  I need a new job and I do a lot of looking around for a new job, but that is about as far as it goes.  I’m somewhat intimidated by the whole job search/interview process, so that holds me back.  But I think a new job is definitely something that needs to happen within the next year, so I’m going to have to be more proactive about it.  And B wants a new job too, so at some point I think it will all come together, but it isn’t happening right now.  So we don’t really talk about it all that much because of the other changes that need to happen first. 

Oh, why do the weekends go so fast??  There’s just never enough time.  It’s Monday morning again tomorrow, and I’m just dreading it.

Girls, Girls, Girls

{ June 16, 2008 @ 7:42 pm } · { friends }
{ } · { Comments (7) }

So this weekend I took a little trip to my hometown to visit with my girlfriends.  One of my friends had planned a girl’s night out, and has been waiting for me to be able to come home so we could all go see “Sex and the City” together. 

We had such a great time.  We ended up with a group of five of us, and we went to dinner, to the movie, and then out for dessert and drinks.  I just love these girls SO MUCH.  They are just the best and the most fun, and whenever we get together we just laugh nonstop.  I so wish they lived closer to me.  But sadly, my efforts at recruiting them to the Chicago area have been unsuccessful.  Probably because back home they can buy a beautiful and large house for 200K whereas here that amount of money would get you only a tiny condo. 

As is usually the case when I get together with my girlfriends, the conversation at dinner very quickly descended into such topics as:  bikini line shaving and shaping methods, my friend Nicole’s silver bullet and her use thereof, and sexual positions (including 3D demonstrations using fingers in the place of legs to explain the positioning to those who are a little slower on the uptake, like myself). 

I really do love them, in all their quirky glory. 

The evening ended on the perfect note, with my friend Little T pulling down her pants from the back seat of the car that I was in with my other friend Linds, and pushing her entire bare ass out the window for the other two, who were walking to their cars.  While I would never show my bare ass to the free world, I was suitably impressed  that she could get her butt up high enough to stick out the window and that the entire thing fit out the window.  I’m not sure mine could do the same.

Anyway, the weekend left me feeling happy, refreshed and loved.  I really do need to find some girlfriends here.  I just haven’t yet managed to connect with anyone new on that level.

Happy Monday!

Death Wish

{ May 6, 2008 @ 3:51 am } · { aging, family, friends, random thoughts }
{ } · { Leave a Comment }

Today I had a conversation with my friend Jaded that really bothered me.  That is not an unusual occurrence with Jaded, but this one bothered me more so than the others. 

She says she wants to die young.  Now, she never did tell me what she considered young.  But she kept saying “retirement age”, but that is still a pretty large range.  She figures that once she is no longer “useful”, she doesn’t want to be around anymore. 

I think that is a pretty insulting way of looking at retirement-aged and older people.     Also?  I think it is a slap in the face to all the people (at any age) who died before they felt it was their time.  Case in point – my grandfather died when he was sixty-nine.  He was diagnosed with lung cancer, had surgery, and died within 6 months.  Prior to his diagnosis he played golf everyday, went out fishing on his boat frequently, loved to play games, goofed around in church, and was pretty social.  We all loved to spend time with him – he was strong, he was fit, he was fun, he was smart, he had a sense of humor.  He loved life, and he always had a twinkle in his eyes.  His life was not sad or wasted or lonely.  Even now, eight years later, I cry on the spot everytime I think about the last time I said good-bye to him.     He was not ready to go, and we certainly were not ready for him to go.

Of course, I know that things get worse for people as they get older.  And some stories are much much sadder.  Some people die alone and lonely in nursing homes.  Some go slowly with diseases like Alzheimers.  Many people live for years with a very poor quality of life.  I get that. 

But to make a blanket statement that you want to die young because you don’t want to get old and no longer be useful?   I don’t know, it just seemed kind of…..luxurious to me.

Playing dumb….

{ March 13, 2008 @ 3:52 am } · { dating, dirty, friends, indoor sports, is it just me?, observation, relationships, sex }
{ } · { Comments (2) }

So High School Girl wrote a new blog about a new guy that she recently hooked up with.  She said he was everything she was looking for, and that he was ten times better than her last guy, who, though I’ve never met him, I like to refer to as Huge Penis Boy (HPB)(as his member has been much lauded on her blog).  But, oh, despite everything she liked about him, there is one major drawback….he has a live-in girlfriend. 

I thought, hmm…..this sure does sound like ManWhore.  And despite everything I know about him, he never told me his girlfriend lives with him.  He is extremely closed lip about the girlfriend.  Probably because he doesn’t want to ruin any chance he thinks he has for me to sleep with him, should the situation arise.  It won’t.

Anyway, then High School Girl emailed me and asked me what I knew about ManWhore.  Oh…..crap.  What don’t I know about ManWhore (except that the gf lives with him)?  I know far more about ManWhore than I probably should.  More than I would ever discuss, because I kiss my grandmother with this mouth, and trust me, some of the facts are not pretty. 

But I don’t know what to say.  ManWhore is my friend, and though I would never tell her the specifics, do I tell her that he is a slut?  I have no relationship with her, but I feel as though I might owe her some truth, just as a woman.  Obviously she already slept with him, and there is no way to put that horse back in the barn.  However, her blog made it sound like she was interested in him for more than just sex. 

So I’m torn.  Maybe I just play dumb and just say something generic.  Talk about how I know him, blah blah blah.  Not what she’s looking for, but maybe I don’t want to get involved.

But then, he obviously already told her that he has a live-in girlfriend.  So, what’s the confusion?  What does she think he wants with her?  Why even get involved with someone like that – you’ll never get what you want.  I told him I was surprised that he told her about the girlfriend, a fact he hasn’t found fit to mention to me in two years.  He said, well, he thought he would put it all out there, that way if she didn’t like it, she had the opportunity to walk away from him.   He said he laid the ground rules.  I said what, don’t call me, I’ll call you?  Don’t speak unless spoken to?  He said, well, basically yes.  His house is off limits.  He probably won’t return calls or texts, at least in a timely manner.

I thought, who the hell hears these “ground rules” and thinks, “ok, that sounds fine”?   Who takes that kind of shit?  Um….no thanks.  Take your rules and move on.  I have my own rules in a relationship, and they definitely involve answering my calls, or at least returning them.   I am very demanding that way.

Anyway, I haven’t had much to write about lately, so at least ManWhore has provided me some fodder.  I’ll try to do some more exciting things so I have some material. 

30ish

{ February 20, 2008 @ 3:26 am } · { aging, birthday, family, friends, life, love, relationships }
{ } · { Comments (2) }

So I am turning 30 on Sunday, a fact, which, if you’ve been paying attention, has been often lamented in my blog.  My dad, stepmom, and sister will be celebrating my birthday in Cabo, but because of a trial I have starting the week after, I am not able to go.  So my mom planned to come into town on Thursday and stay the weekend.  But on Wednesday of last week, she called and told me that they was coming tomorrow (last Thursday) instead of this Thursday.  Yikes. 

All I could think was that I needed to get home right away and clean my house.  But then I though, wait, why the hell are they coming a week early?  And who is “they” anyway?  It was supposed to just be my mom.  Anyway, as it turns out, my mom planned a surprise birthday party for me on Saturday.  But it was taking place back home, not here where I live.  So she had to tell me because she really didn’t have a way to get me there otherwise.   Basically everyone I know was in on the secret. 

Including B.  So I texted him and told him that he was in big trouble and that we were going to have a talk about the circle of trust, and who is in the circle of trust (me and him) and who is not (my mother).  Really it is more of a line than a circle, but whatever. 

So then I was all in a panic.  Who was coming to this party?  I had to find something to wear, and I need to have my highlights done, and on and on and on.  Oh, and apparently B would now be meeting my entire family all at once.  Yikes.  I wasn’t ready.  Mind you, he hadn’t even met any of my parents (I have 4) or my sister.  Let alone aunts, uncles, cousins, grandma, etc.  So I was feeling a little overwhelmed (which I think contributed to how upset I felt about V-Day). 

My sister flew in on Friday night, and on Saturday, B came over to my house, picked us up and drove us back home for the party.   

B had booked a room for us at the same hotel where all of the out-of-town guests were staying….including all of my parents.  Even though I am thisclose to 30 years old, I still feel like awkward about telling my dad that I’m sharing a hotel room with my boyfriend.  But whatever. 

Anyway, the party was wonderful.  So much fun.  All of my friends, a lot of my family, and we just a really good time all around.  It just made me feel special, especially since a lot of the guests had to travel from out of town.  And my mom is fantastic, planning the whole thing for me from halfway across the country.  She loves me.   

AND I got several spa gift certificates….ahhhh, I do so love a good massage.  I think I might schedule a massage for this weekend on my actual birthday.  And maybe a pedi too.

Baby, It’s Cold Outside

{ February 1, 2008 @ 2:51 am } · { books, clothing, dating, friends, love, random thoughts }
{ } · { Comments (1) }

And that is an understatement.  I’m so tired of the cold and the snow that seems to come everyday.  So let’s talk about things that make us feel warm and fuzzy, shall we?  Here are some things that do it for me:

  • the beautiful cashmere scarf that B gave me for Christmas, which I love for all of its pink and purpley glory
  • buying new books 

The Year of Magical Thinking Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

  • Starbucks Hot Chocolate….wish I had some right now
  • http://thepioneerwomancooks.com has some really good ideas for Superbowl party foods, and is just a fantastic cooking blog in general
  • My trial that was supposed to start Monday got continued, so I don’t have to work this weekend.  Yay!
  • Getting my hair cut tonight – hello scalp massage, how I’ve missed you
  • The Sunday breakfasts that B and I have gotten into the habit of making together
  • The much anticipated (by me) return of Lost tonight, even though, frankly, it sometimes scares the hell out of me
  • The way B holds my hand under the table when we are out to dinner
  • The Body Shop Almond Body Butter for my dry, cracking skin

Readers?  What helps you make it through the long winter days? 

The Fog has Lifted

{ January 10, 2008 @ 2:28 am } · { dating, friends, love, random thoughts, relationships }
{ } · { Comments (5) }

The fog in my head, that is.  For the most part anyway.  I’m finally back at work today (and already wasting time writing a post). 

Thank you, ladies (Kara, SF, Jess) for the comments to my last post.  I’m not the kind of girl who talks about feelings in person (at least not the good kind), so I would have felt a little lame calling up my girlfriends and saying, guess what?  I think B finally likes me.  M said he was crazy about me.  That kind of thing makes me feel weird.  I have never being that comfortable being on either end of the “that is soooo sweet” conversation.  On the other hand, if B said/did something wrong or something I thought was funny, I would have no problem passing that along.  Anyhow, so it is easier to write thing than to say them, and it is nice to have blogfriends who will get excited with me, and I can maintain my cool exterior (which I’m pretty sure is all in my head anyway) to the outside world. 

Oh, I finally asked B about his dating history.  I have been meaning to talk to him about that for about 6 months.  Turns out to be much ado about nothing.  Although B has more dating experience than I do, and let’s be honest – it would be hard not to, there hasn’t been much of length or significance.  And he told me that he has never before introduced a girl to his family.    So that made me feel important to him. 

In her comment to my last post, Jess said it seems like B is growing on me.  He is.  He has been for a long time.  Is it okay for relationships to evolve that way?  Sometimes I worry because he and I did not click instantly (at least for me).  But now?  I love that boy.  I do.  But I have been unable to tell him that.    Soon though, I think.  It has been on the tip of my tongue for some time now.

So I went back through my pda and my old emails to figure out when my first date with B was, and it will be a year ago in about 2 weeks.  I think I’m going to make reservations at the restaurant that we first met at, and surprise him.  Maybe I’ll even buy some sexy lingerie for later.  I don’t want to make it all “one year anniversary” dinnery, but just something nice and simple to mark the passage of time and the growth of our relationship.  Plus he ALWAYS plans our dates, so it will be nice for me to plan something for a change. 

Happy hump day!

Miserable Monday

{ January 8, 2008 @ 4:32 am } · { dating, friends, love, random thoughts, relationships }
{ } · { Comments (3) }

Sick today.  Ugh.  What started out as a cold over the weekend reared its ugly head this morning with a sore throat, earache and vomiting.  So I’m pretty miserable.  And I’m not hungry, but my brain is craving something really yummy — like pizza or chinese food.  Mmmmm.  But probably not a good idea for my uneasy stomach.  So I had to settle for an apple.    

I’m kind of sad the holidays are over.   Now it is back to real life, working full time.  I was really enjoying getting to spend more time with B.  I was getting to see him every couple of days instead of once a week.  And I got to spend longer periods of time with him too.  So now it kind of sucks to be back to once a week.

Anyway, I went to B’s on Saturday night.  We went to see a movie, and then went to a dinner at a new steakhouse in town, and then out to the bar.  When we were at the bar, B’s friend, M, talked to me most of the time.  M was drunk, and I was closer thereto than I have ever been (what, you aren’t supposed to mix drinks and cold meds??  Who knew.)

So at one point M said to me “you know this guy [B, of course] is crazy about you, right?”   And I told him that I wasn’t sure, and that B is a hard read.  He said, “Oh, come on.  You know he is.”  I don’t know.   I know it isn’t as good as straight from the horse’s mouth, but still……it made me feel good. 

Ok, so I hate to judge anyone who reads my blogs, especially those who take the time to comment, but……I just got a comment to one of my older posts from a guy that said he broke up with two girlfriends because of their hair.  One was a four year relationship and the other was a one year relationship.  Yikes!!!  I sincerely hope there were other reasons, and those decisions weren’t based entirely on the hair(s).  Kinda harsh, no?

Ok, time for some more meds. 

« Previous entries