I am often struck by the differences between how single men and women live, usually when I’m at B’s house:
*When I first met B, he had a random group of gnarly eating utensils. Cheap, flimsy, mangled silverware (and I use that term very loosely). At one point I suggested to him that he put a set of silverware on his Christmas list last year, which he did. But even then, his mom gave him a set of Martha Stewart silverware, but it was only 4 place settings. I suggested that he go to Macy’s and buy a second set. He didn’t understand that at all. I said, well, what would you do if you ever had more than 4 people over for dinner? He went ahead and got the set.
*B cooked me dinner one night and served it to me with a plastic spoon (this was before he got the new set). He apologized, but explained how the regular stuff was in the dishwasher, so he couldn’t use them. I said, um, [B], you COULD just hand wash dishes if you really need them. Hadn’t occurred to him.
*Even if he did want to wash dishes by hand, he doesn’t have any sponges or dishrags. Nothing. Although he does have dish soap. I bought him some dishrags. To my knowledge, I’m the only one who has used them thus far.
*He also doesn’t have any dish towels. No, I take that back, he does have one. The same one that has been hanging from the oven at least as long as I have known him. And he recently confessed to me that he has never washed it (and he does about 4 loads of laundry a week, not sure why that has never made it in there). I also bought him some hand towels, but I don’t think he ever switches them up. I just do it when I’m there.
*He has no handsoap in the kitchen. I bought him a handsoap dispenser as well. Mostly because I got tired of running back and forth to the bathroom to wash my hands when we cook.
*B has whole cabinets in his kitchen that are empty. I would give my left arm for extra space in my kitchen.
*B is actually pretty good at keeping his house tidy. He cleans his house every week , on a pretty regular schedule. He actually keeps his house a lot more neat than I do. But he misses some stuff:
* His bathroom soap dispenser is always dusty and covered in crusted over soap. I usually rinse it off when I’m in there.
*Although he is good at cleaning his bathroom mirror, he evidently doesn’t notice the blue windex streak on the wall beside his mirror.
*He has three things in his shower – shampoo, soap, wash rag. I have probably twenty. A couple different sets of shampoo and conditioner, regular soap, body wash, bubble bath, salt and sugar scrubs, face soap, exfoliator, shaving gel, razors, etc. I admit, his is probably more on the reasonable side than mine.
*B’s entire place is painted the same color: off-white. He calls it tan. Trust me, it’s off-white. Every room in my apartment is painted.
*When his dad passed away, my mom sent B a plant. It needs sunlight (of course), so he rigged up two cardboard boxes, taped them together with masking tape. That is his plant stand. It’s super attractive.
*One guy I dated used a beach towel for his bath towel. I made fun of him enough that he asked his mom for towels for Christmas. Even then, he didn’t personally use them. Wanted to save them for guests and special occasions.
*That same guy lived in a pretty cool loft in the city. His bathroom was wall was made entirely of glass blocks. He noticed that when I went to the bathroom (for the first time) in his place, I turned the light off. When I came out, he asked why I was peeing in the dark. I told him I didn’t want him to see me sitting on the pot (keep in mind the loft was just one big open space so you could see the bathroom from any point) He laughed at me, like that was totally ridiculous. I guarantee that every woman he has had in his loft has had the very same thought.
*B has a pizza oven. Now, I know a lot of people have those, but truly, it is a trend I don’t understand. I asked him why he couldn’t just cook the pizza in his regular oven, and he told me that it is just easier to do it that way. But he has to haul that thing out from the panty (where he also has entirely empty shelves) every time. I don’t get it.
*Like a lot of women, B does a separate load of laundry for his “delicates”. He literally calls him that. But his delicates? Are sports jerseys and moisture wicking shirts.
That’s all I can think of right now. I wonder what men think about the way women live. Do we do weird things?
